Funny But True

A fellow Go-Deviler sent me the attached e-mail. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Subject: letter from disgruntled Go-Devil owner

Date: Wed, 28 Jan 1998 12:54:43 -0900

Dear Mr. Varner,

About 5 years ago, I purchased a Go-Devil engine from you. I have been very satisfied with the performance of the engine and your support after the sale has been outstanding.

Mr. Varner, I do have a problem which I need to discuss with you. This is a problem which occurs every time I either put my boat into the water or take my boat out of the water. I cannot launch or take out my boat without being bothered by one or more men with questions about my Go-Devil! It's getting so that I have to allow an extra half-hour on both ends of my fishing trips just to answer questions! This bothers me greatly because that's one hour of fishing wasted talking to some wingnuts who want a Go-Devil but can't pry their wallets (or their wife's purse) open far enough to actually buy one! This has got to stop!

Mr. Varner, you never warned me that such instances would occur after purchase of the Go-Devil. I can find no warning notices in the Go-Devil engine owner's manual.
Further, I have it on good authority that almost all other owners of Go-Devil engines have been subject to this harassment as well. I'm thinking of joining together with the other Go-Devil owners who have purchased engines from you in a class action suit to prevent this disruptive activity from continuing any further.

Perhaps you would consider placing a paid advertisement in the local paper asking that people not hassle owners of Go-Devil engines and boats while they are using them. Maybe you'd consider erecting signs at local boat ramps which state "No Questioning of Go-Devil Owners Allowed!"

Mr. Varner, something must be done! Otherwise, I will have no choice but to take matters in my own hands and make up the most horrible LIES about Go-Devil engines so as to immediately curtail any further questioning by curious prop-kicking onlooker wingnuts.

I may repaint my boat with the phrase "I DON'T KNOW NUTHIN' ABOUT IT, I JEST DRIVE IT" plastered all over both sides. Or, I may have to make a cardboard cover for my Go-Devil engine so that it looks like a crappy old Evinrude outboard.

Respectfully yours,

Mortimer Propgrinder
1389 Sweeper Alley
Bearflanks, Alasky

ps: Got any more props?

pps: Why doesn't my Go-Devil run while completely under water?